For parents, carers and grassroots coaches

Be the voice that helps
them believe.

You do not need to have all the answers. Sometimes the greatest support begins with listening, staying calm and helping a young athlete remember that their worth is bigger than any result.

Discover Be My Power Explore the Books

Written by a football parent, from the touchline and the car journey home.

They may forget the score.
They will remember how you made them feel.

Most of us mean well. We ask a question in the car because we are interested, because we care, because we want our children to do well. But a child sitting in the back seat, still full of adrenaline, sometimes hears something we never meant to say. The good news is that very small changes in our words can change the whole journey home.

  • Instead of

    “Did you score?”

    Try

    “What did you enjoy most today?”

  • Instead of

    “You need to try harder.”

    Try

    “I saw how hard you kept going.”

  • Instead of

    “Why didn’t you pass?”

    Try

    “What was happening for you in that moment?”

These are not rules, and there is no perfect script. They are simply gentler options worth keeping in your pocket.

A gentle observation

Good intentions can feel like pressure

Almost every sentence we say on the touchline comes from belief. We say them because we can see what our children are capable of, and because we want them to see it too. Children, though, listen with different ears. They are still working out what makes them valuable, and they take their cues from us.

It does not mean you are a bad parent or coach. It means that children can hear more in our words than we realise.

What we say

  • “You have to win.”
  • “Don’t make mistakes.”
  • “Show them you’re the best.”
  • “Why didn’t you score?”
  • “I know you can do better.”

What a child may hear

  • “I must not disappoint you.”
  • “Mistakes make me less valuable.”
  • “I am only good when I perform well.”
  • “Your approval depends on the result.”
  • “What I already gave was not enough.”

What young athletes really need

None of these things depend on talent, league position or the final score. All of them come from the adults standing nearby.

Safety to make mistakes

A child who is afraid of getting it wrong stops trying anything difficult. Room to fail is what makes room to grow.

Praise for effort and courage

The result is not always in their control. The effort always is. Naming it tells them which part actually matters.

Space to talk

Children often need a few quiet minutes before they can explain what happened. Silence in the car is not always a bad sign.

Support without pressure

Encouragement lifts a child. Expectation sits on their shoulders. The words can sound similar and feel completely different.

Patience with development

Children grow at their own speed, on and off the pitch. A quiet season is not a wasted one.

Joy that is not tied to results

If joy only arrives with a win, most weekends will feel flat. Protecting the fun protects the whole journey.

For parents, carers and coaches

For the adults standing beside them

Nothing here asks you to be a perfect parent or a perfect coach. There is no such thing, and children do not need one. What they notice is far simpler: whether the adult beside them is a safe place to land.

Support is not about removing every difficult moment. It is about making sure a child does not face those moments alone.

  • Respond well after a win and after a loss
  • Listen first, before offering advice
  • Notice pressure — including the kind you did not intend
  • Praise progress, not only the scoreline
  • Build confidence with specific, honest encouragement
  • Keep your own ambitions separate from their journey
  • Protect the joy that brought them to the game

For players

For the player behind the performance

If you play, this part is for you. Not for your coach, not for your parents. You.

  • You are more than one match.

  • A mistake does not define you.

  • Feeling nervous does not mean you are weak.

  • Progress can be slow and still be real.

  • You are allowed to enjoy the game.

  • Asking for help is a sign of strength.

Rest counts too. Tired legs and a tired head both need a day off sometimes.

Resources

Ten small shifts

A short summary of the ten areas explored in the parent guide. None of them require a new personality — only a slightly different sentence.

  1. Praise effort, not only results

    Ask what they tried, not what they scored. Effort belongs to the child; the scoreline rarely does.

  2. Listen before offering advice

    Give them the first word after a match. Advice lands far better once they have finished speaking.

  3. Support without adding pressure

    Swap “you must” for “you can try”. It keeps the standard and removes the weight.

  4. Keep your ambitions separate from theirs

    Ask yourself whose dream a decision serves. Their path does not have to repeat or repair your own.

  5. Build confidence with specific encouragement

    “Good game” fades quickly. “You kept your head up after that mistake” stays.

  6. Help them understand and manage stress

    Nerves are normal, not a fault. Simple habits — three slow breaths, one small goal — make them lighter.

  7. Value teamwork and contribution

    Ask who they helped and who helped them. It widens the meaning of a good performance.

  8. Protect the joy of the game

    Keep some football with no score at all. Laughter in the garden is still training.

  9. Be patient with long-term development

    Children grow in uneven steps. A flat month is usually a pause, not a decline.

  10. Model humility and respect

    How we speak about referees, opponents and coaches becomes how our children speak about them.

Explore all 10 lessons in the parent guide

Front cover of the book 10 Secrets to Help Kids Level Up in Football by Be My Power

The parent guide

10 Secrets to Help Kids Level Up in Football

The Essential Guide for Football Parents

This book was written by a football parent, after watching his own sons fall in love with the game — and after realising how easily an ordinary question in the car could take some of that love away.

Inside you will find honest stories from real Saturday mornings, reflections on what went wrong and what changed, and practical ideas you can use on the way home from the very next match. It is not written by an expert, and it does not pretend to be. It is one parent’s experience, shared openly so that other parents, carers and coaches can take what is useful.

This is not a book about tactics or training plans. It is about the moments before the match, beside the pitch and on the journey home.

  • Ten short chapters, each with a story and a reflection
  • Room to pause and think at the end of every chapter
  • Written for parents, carers, coaches and club volunteers
  • Available on Kindle, so you can read it on the way to the pitch

View the Parent Guide on Amazon

Line drawing of a German Shepherd as a goalkeeper with a football Line drawing of a Border Collie as a playmaker looking up at a football Line drawing of a Golden Retriever wearing a captain’s armband with a football

The children’s colouring book

Football Dogs Colouring Book

A playful world where football, dogs and creativity come together.

Every page introduces a different dog in a football role: a Golden Retriever wearing the captain’s armband, a German Shepherd in goal, a Border Collie reading the game, a Greyhound running in behind. The drawings are detailed enough to hold a child’s attention and simple enough to enjoy.

It makes a calm activity after training, something to take on a long journey, or a quiet way to spend a rainy afternoon at home. Nothing more complicated than pencils, a table and a bit of time.

  • Hand-drawn dogs in football positions, one per page
  • A printed book to colour in, not a download to print at home
  • Single-sided plates, easy to colour and easy to display
  • For children who love football, dogs, or both

View the Colouring Book on Amazon

A moment after the final whistle

The referee blows. The game is over.

A child walks off the pitch with mud on their socks and their shirt untucked, scanning the touchline for one particular face. In those few seconds they are not thinking about the result. They are trying to work out what they are about to walk into.

Will there be a sigh? A raised eyebrow? A quick piece of advice before they have even taken their shin pads off? Or will there be someone who is simply glad to see them?

Whatever comes first sets the tone for the whole journey home — the car, the kitchen, bedtime. It is a very small window, and it carries a surprising amount of weight.

Sometimes the most powerful words are simply: I loved watching you play.

About

About Be My Power

Be My Power grew from ordinary moments in youth football: conversations in the car, emotions after matches, excitement, disappointment and the realisation that adult words can either add pressure or become a source of strength.

It began with one parent watching his own sons from the touchline — noticing how much courage the game asked of them, and how easily a well-meaning comment could take some of that courage away. The books, and this website, are an attempt to share what those Saturday mornings taught him.

The name says what the brand is for. Children do not need us to be their coach, their critic or their agent. Most of the time they just need us to be their power — the steady thing behind them when the game gets hard.

Questions people ask